Self Love
LOVE Blog 5 Self Love
I haven’t written! Aaah! It’s been weeks
Wait a minute; it’s my blog. I can write what I want when I want…! But there is always culture; culture has an unspoken agenda for timeliness, and consistency.
I’ve been crazy busy; and that’s a story and a whole other story. I’ve been wanting to get my dog blog post up, but it’s not quite finished. Suddenly it occurred to me what I’ve been doing; I’ve been taking care of myself. I’ve been self-loving; I know it sounds so new age and maybe other, more generous monikers do apply. I’ve been taking care to be able to write, and blog, and live, but my new place is the work of a trade; I am building an RV pad site for my new landlord, and I get to live there for a time in lieu of rent. The place needed power, water, sewer, internet. I did it all over a couple of weeks! What’s not self-loving about that?! And, my vintage Airstream needed love too. All of this to keep a roof over my head down the street from my Beloved. And it’s turning out. The place is welcoming and there can be a garden. I have a lovely view of the Sangre de Cristo’s, as the tail end of the Rockies are called in my region, and the morning sun comes streaming in at 6:24. Now I can see what I’ve been up to; I’ve been growing the very thing I am purporting to write about! This love thing is wide, wide. It encompasses everything that is. I hadn’t quite seen that, even though I said I had and do and did!
I realized as I began this post that I had discounted my own direct experience of self-love as worthy. And here I am writing of love? I said in so many words, to myself, and in my introduction, that I would cover the gamut. Well here is the gamut; my own growth experience. I tend to care for others and external experiences first. I was thinking of writing of self-love with a kind of distance; fascinating. But here it is about me. I stopped my life and took care of myself. And culture and training says that, that is somehow a flawed action. For all my talk and rhetoric about love, still, within me is the capacity to minimize and sideline myself, when it comes to love.
Writing this blog is very self-loving. And yet, I felt flawed some how in not doing it on schedule. I felt I was off my stride in not doing it. Actually, I discovered love anew; It is so curious to discover as I write. I discovered that my imagined “off-my-stride”, was actually a keen time of expressing a new kind of love, inadvertently a keen time of evolving my next love blog topic, discovering an area in which I struggle with love, and keener still, the revelation of still more love brewing and building.
My point is this: I took care of myself and summarily imagined I was not only not taking care of myself, but also slacking on my posts. Neither, it turns out was true. Instead I built a new understanding of love. Instead I grew a still more subtle grasp of the wide field impact of letting love flow. Instead, I discovered that I have even more to write about, and, from a decidedly personal perspective. Little did I know that I am not ever isolated from the very process of love discovery that I am advancing. This rocks, (and is also scary)!
Thank you dear reader!
Andrew Hunt
